I love Him better every day. By this I know that my love is not only for God, but of God. There is nothing common about it. One becomes accustomed to natural things; and natural things fade, even the rose loses its luster and fragrance as it grows old.
But the love of God grows in richness; it deepens with time and becomes more precious with knowledge.
I love Him better every day. Once He was just a myth to me--remote and unreal. I had no sense of His love. I was sufficient in myself.
Then I met Him. I met Him because I was persuaded that Jesus, who was called the Christ, had provided my way into the presence of the Father. People told me this and I believed the people. The people pointed out to me that the Word of God said that if I believed in Jesus, I was saved and delivered from hell. Hell, they told me, was a place of torment.
I listened to the people. I did not desire a place of torment, so I confessed with my lips that I believed in Jesus, so therefore I was saved from torment.
But I was forever fearful. Was my faith as strong as it should be? Was I good enough to be counted worthy to escape such awful torment? What if, in a moment of weakness, something should happen to me and I was not “prayed up?” Had I passed by that “last opportunity” to pray to God and ask Him to forgive me of my many sins? What if? What if? People told me I was to never miss an opportunity to “get on my knees” and pray to my Father who was in heaven and ask Him for mercy. My heart was never sure, I was always fearful. I looked to people to take away my fears, but they were only dulled for a moment.
One day I thought about God loving me. Loving? Were my fears the result of God loving me? Other people who didn’t know God had none of the fears that I had. Yet I was asking them to give their heart to the Lord. Why, so they could have fears too? There was something wrong here. Love doesn’t generate fear. The Word of God declares, “Perfect love casteth out fear.” Who could be more perfect than God? If this perfection that was God was to cast out fear, why then did I have fear when I thought of God? I could come to only one conclusion: either I didn’t know God after all, or the Bible was in error. I could not believe the Bible to be in error, because on this point at least, I would have to remove concepts about the peace and comfort of love. The only thing left for me was what came right down to it. I didn’t know God.
This was quite a blow to me, because I had been diligent in all that which I was instructed. I was faithful in my duties to my church. I was in active participation with the church programs, and I held my leaders and instructors in high esteem. Yet, I had to face it, God might know me, but I certainly did not know God.
Jesus was my way to God. I believed that, but there was something unreal to me--I had never arrived. My lips prayed “Our Father,” but my soul could not cry, “My Father.” I began to seek God. I did not seek Him by seeking a different church or new friends or different circumstances. It was my heart that was fearful, so it was my heart that sought freedom from fear. It was my heart that sought God.
I began to find out what faith was. I found that faith didn’t rest in the words of people, faith rested in God. God rested in His Word; so by knowing His Word, I came to know faith.
I began to look at the Bible with new eyes. I had more or less looked to people for guidance, but this had never produced the results that would give peace and remove fear. Now I turned from people and looked to God’s Word.
I found a difficulty even here. Certain scriptures that I had been taught to have a certain meaning did not seem to fit.
They seemed to be isolated. They stood by themselves and did not harmonize with the rest of God’s Word. I found it difficult to clear my mind of its pre-set bias. But, as I did this, certain things came into focus that showed me a sure foundation.
I saw the love of God! I saw it manifested in Christ. I had never seen this before. I had been taught that Jesus was the Christ, and that He was the way to God, but I didn’t see how or why. I knew the Scripture about God 1oving the world to such an extent that He gave His only begotten Son, but I could not clearly see how love behaved. I did not know God.
I had always heard this, “In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.” It had beat upon my ears until it had lodged in my brain that there were three Gods. Then, when I had been told that these three were one and yet they were separate, I was confused. Truly, I did not know God.
I began to see certain things in God’s Word. I saw the words of Jesus where He said, “God is a Spirit.” I saw where the Holy Spirit overshadowed Mary and caused her to conceive so that she would bring forth a child who should be called Jesus. I saw by this that God and the Holy Spirit were not two, but one.
Then I saw a great error of the people. This is the error of all flesh. The people had likened God to themselves. They gave Him a form of flesh; therefore, He naturally was a person having form and tempers like themselves. Jesus told them plainly that God was Spirit. To be born of God one must be born of the Spirit. If I was born of the Spirit, I became Spirit. I began to understand how Jesus was made the Christ.
One of the things that Jesus said to Phillip always puzzled me. “Have I been so long with you and yet thou hast not known me? He that hath seen me hath seen the Father.” This was in response to Phillip’s question. “Lord, show us the Father.” I had always looked at this with the understanding of my senses, and I reasoned thusly: Phillip saw a man and he heard a man. This man said. “If you have seen me, you have seen the Father.” Yet this same man that claimed to be the Father prayed to some power that was some place referred to as Heaven, and said, “My Father...” So with this type of reasoning, I became very confused. I had approached this point many times before, but I was always confused. I asked people to explain to me, but no one could, so I said, “It is not meant for me to know.” But now I had to know. Jesus was the Way to God and no man could come to the Father but by Him. I had to know.
Then I began to listen. God was a Spirit. Somehow this Spirit was given to Jesus, so that it was declared of Him, “All the fullness” of God dwelt in Him.
I heard Jesus pray to this Father Spirit to give Him the Glory that He had before the world was. He prayed, “Glorify me with thine own self.” This was accomplished. Jesus was never refused by His Father. Once He told the Disciples, “I will pray (ask) the Father and He WILL give you another comforter.” I saw what a wonderful assurance Jesus had.
He knew that the Father would do whatsoever He asked. He knew that the Father loved Him.
Jesus asked for us who believe Him. He asked the Father that we might be made one with the Father, just like He was made one with the Father. God didn’t refuse Jesus; so if I believe Jesus, I am made one with the Father. I am perfect in Him because I have been made one with Him. His Life is now my Life. All that the Father is, I am because I am ONE with Him.
At last I have seen the way to God! My senses can not comprehend this wonderful fact. The flesh is overcome with awe at the tremendous truth of being one with God. Something within me says, “I see how, but I don’t know why.” Then Satan presents a false humility to me, so that if I harbor it and do not cast it out, it will rob me of all that Jesus gave. The thought that Satan would have me to hold is that I am not worthy of this honor.
My teaching was that Jesus was always God, and He triumphed over the flesh because He was God. There was something that didn’t quite satisfy me here. Here’s why. When Jesus was baptized in the Jordan, He heard a voice from Heaven saying that God was well pleased with Him. Why? I can’t understand a God that says He is well pleased with Himself. But God was pleased with Jesus. Jesus Himself tells me why. He said, “Think not that I am come to destroy the Law but to fulfill the Law.” I began to think about this in a little less abstracted way than I previously had. I saw now that fulfilling the Law was a thing that pleased God. This began to fit because the Law expressed God’s desire for man. I had always been taught that the Law was a Law to the flesh, but I began to see that it was more than that. Jesus Himself stripped all flesh from the Law when He told us what was the first and greatest commandment. He said that this “Law of love” was the foundation of all the Law and the Prophets. This makes sense, because “God is love.” Therefore, His desire could not be anything, but love.
Jesus fulfilled God’s desire so perfectly that God gave Himself to this man completely, so that it was said of Jesus, “In Him dwelt all the fullness of the Godhead…” What favor Jesus received from God! How great was God’s love for Jesus that He should give Him all of Himself! Jesus knew this love, He knew His Father. God gave all judgment to Jesus because Jesus loved like the Father loved. Now I begin to see “love at work,” the giving of one’s self to another. I could, in a sense, understand how Jesus won the love of God by doing the will of God; but in understanding this, I saw my hopeless condition more than ever before. I was born after the likeness of Adam’s sin, and God has concluded that all are under sin. What hope had I? I was bound. Everything that was in me was contrary to God because it was not subject to God’s laws. In my flesh dwelled no good thing. My mind was an enemy of God. God’s law is of the Spirit, and all about me and in me and through me is flesh. That is why I have so many fears; fears are of the flesh, and that’s me, born in sin and shaped in iniquity.
But still, Jesus Christ is the Way. He won the love of God. He received God’s nature, and that means to me that He has God’s love within Him.
The Bible declares to me that grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. I am also told that it is by grace that I am saved.
What a wealth of knowledge this reveals to me! The grace of Jesus Christ reaches to me and because of His grace, not because of what I have done or not done. Just because of His grace, I have been lifted out of myself and placed in Him. Here is the answer to His prayer made manifest, that we should receive His Glory and be made perfect by being made one with the Father as He was made one with the Father.
Jesus received His Sonship because He earned the privilege. God revealed Himself to Jesus; therefore, Jesus could say that God is a Spirit because He knew. Jesus tells me this, “No man knoweth the Father, save the Son and Him to whom the Son shall reveal Him.” Jesus asked the Father that we should have another Comforter. He said, “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Comforter...” Then He said, “At that day YE SHALL KNOW that I am in the Father, and He in me AND I IN YOU.” So now I know the Father because the Son has revealed Him to me, and in revealing Him to me, has shown me my place in Him. He has shown me that I am made perfect because I am made ONE WITH HIM.
My flesh still feels that I must in some way work for this position, but the attitude of grace does not include the labor of attainment. God’s Word declares that what I have is not of works, or perhaps I might boast. I have been given my perfection because I believe in Jesus. He told me to trust Him and He would present me faultless to God.
Now I found that it is the grace of Jesus Christ that makes me worthy. I had my fears that perhaps God should become weary with me for my many shortcomings, but God’s Word declares that before Him I am perfect because He made me one with Him. I had my fears because not always did my senses rejoice because of the knowledge of God’s presence. I was fearful that perhaps I was forsaken. Now I rest in God’s Word and He says that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
Fears! I will not own them anymore because God has not given me the Spirit of fear. All fears are of Satan; and as I see the perfect love of God, those fears are being cast out. I can not cast them out, but the perfect love that is my Father does the work.
I was never fearful that I didn’t have a desire to come to my Father; my fears were of my own inability to be “good enough.” But Jesus said that He was my goodness, so I believed Him; and I just referred Satan to Jesus whenever he would try to sell me his line.
I knew that my desire was to live for my Father, and I saw that His love prepared the way for me, so I live in His love, and I’m letting His love live in me.
I know my Father, I see His perfection, and I am not afraid because “perfect love casteth out fear.” R