Loneliness is the longing for certain desires to be fulfilled that are inherent within us. The method, or way, in which we attempt to fulfill this longing varies with every one of us in accordance with our training, background, and environment.
Man, in himself, is ignorant of what it is he requires to have this feeling of loneliness assuaged--in fact, he is not even aware of its cause! When he tries to give conscious direction to the fulfillment of this feeling, he is apt to say, “I am lonely because I lack this or that.” Loneliness is brought about because of our inability to communicate. In realizing this, we say that we are lonely because we need people. The sad part is that because of our inability to communicate, we often find that we are the loneliest when the most people are around.
Often times we meet people who are the life of the party, yet deep within them they are lonely souls. Again, we meet those who excel in their field and we think how wonderful it must be for them to be “accepted” as they are, and to receive the acclaim of others. Yet, quite often, we find that these people, too, are lonely.
On the other hand, we find contentment in things hard to understand. For instance, two people with such an understanding between them that they have no need to utter a word, people in extenuating circumstances, possessing very little material substance, yet they are rich in contentment.
It does not seem to make much difference what we have or what we say. We are lonely or contented because of something deep within us. This “something” seems to be elusive and almost unobtainable for many of us. But this, too, like everything else, is found in Christ.
Some other words that perhaps give a little more meaning to loneliness are “isolated”, “cut off “, “not understood,” “alone” etc. These words are an attempt on our part to more clearly describe our feeling. They show that loneliness comes about because of our inability to communicate. We think that if we could just hear a voice, if we just had someone around, then everything would be all right. But, as we have already said, many times we experience the most acute loneliness when there are the most people around.
Here is where we see the breakdown of communication. We find that words do not necessarily make for effective communication. Words can express thought, but they do not by themselves communicate feeling. Feeling is a spiritual thing. Words, very simple words, can carry the most profound depths of feeling, yet if this spirit is not discerned and shared by the one for whom it was meant, communications have been lost. Similarly, if the spirit of one or the other of the parties involved is contrary, or antagonistic, communication is garbled so that the original thought or intent is lost. Hearing with our ears can give us information, but we must hear with our heart if we are to have effective communication. When we are aware only of material things, every word we hear will be interpreted on a material plane. The soul is excluded from communicating in this case, and therefore loneliness can never really be assuaged.
When we hear words with our ears, the thought framed by these words is presented to our mind. We interpret these words to mean certain things that are in accordance with what we want to think. If we are given to finding good in things about us, then we interpret the things we hear in like manner. Selfishness, distrust, hatred, suspicion, etc., also affect our interpretation of the things we hear. We will become more, or less, lonely depending upon what we allow ourselves to think.
Man is bound to suffer this difficulty in communication. There are too many factors within him that are not satisfied.
We have seen that our mood affects our interpretation of the things we hear, but the one who speaks is also plagued with problems. Quite often he experiences difficulty in finding just the right words to express his thoughts. To cover this shortcoming, he relies upon tonal inflections, or a look, or perhaps other things that to him are very real, but they are nevertheless intangibles. These intangibles form a very real part of our communication, yet they are not always recognized and very seldom understood. Consequently, we have a difficult time establishing effective communication, and loneliness is the result.
If I am to be free of loneliness, I must know how to communicate with my fellow man; yet, it seems that due to the differences between us, we never will be able to understand our fellow man. There are those with whom it seems we may be more at ease than others, but always there is that sense of incompleteness within us that gives rise to loneliness.
Now I have to look for something else to assuage this loneliness that is inherent within me. I must look to what I am. My real being has been obscured because of sin. Satan has not allowed my mind to consider the fact that I was made for God. God made me a Spirit like Himself, so He could communicate with me. If I fail to consider this, I am forever doomed to a life of loneliness. To be able to communicate with God is the whole basis of contentment. It is the very first thing that ever happened to man. It is the foundation of his existence; it is the source of his life. God walked and talked with Adam in the cool of the day. This was a Spiritual communication because God is Spirit. It was a communication with the soul of man. This harmony of Spirit that is essential to Godly communication was disrupted by Adam’s transgression and man plunged into a lonely existence. No wonder, man was now separated from God.
Man needed sin to be stripped away from his soul. He had to be free from bondage if he was to commune with God.
As by one man sin entered the world, and death (separation from God) by sin, so also by one man, Jesus Christ, was life provided for all who would BELIEVE His words. He then promised a Comforter, an everlasting communion with God. Now, think of what happened on the day of Pentecost: God had walked and talked with Adam in the cool (or wind) of the day, and now, on Pentecost, a “rushing, mighty wind filled all the house where they were sitting.” God had once again established communication between Himself and the soul of man. Only when man UNDERSTANDS that his FIRST need is God and that there must be an unimpeded flow of communication between God and himself, will he ever cease from loneliness. Jesus recognized this when He prepared a place for our abiding. He said He would send us a Comforter who would abide with us forever, and a Comforter is the only one who can take away loneliness.
When a man understands that it is his soul that is lonely, and that God is the only one who can communicate with his soul, then and only then, will he begin to know real fellowship. He will begin to experience a completeness that was never before possible because now there is total harmony of Spirit between his soul and God. He is satisfied because he has found the real source of contentment. Now God can establish fellowship with those who are of this world. This could not have been accomplished previously because we had no sure communication with God and could not have fulfilled God’s purpose for us. He desires that we become His expression to those about us; and now that we have communion with Him, we can speak His Word.
As long as this truth is firmly fixed in our souls we can never be lonely. We are, first of all, SPIRITUAL creatures made so by God, and our joy is walking and talking with the Father. Then, we are, secondarily, creatures of this world, so that we might take those things that we have learned from God, and tell them by word and deed to those who have not yet learned to talk to their God.
We will not be accepted by all people, nor will we be able to communicate with them without misunderstandings. Our compassion will go out to those who do not understand, but let us never forget that only God can talk to their souls. It is impossible to ever overcome loneliness by material things. We must hear a voice in our soul and only God can speak to us there.
Now, you have seen that man is lonely and you have seen the REASON for his loneliness. In seeing this, you understand there is NOTHING outside of God that can establish the communication your soul desires. This is your first joy--to talk to God; then confidence surges within you and you can talk to men because you know the words you say are true. Jesus told them to you! Loneliness--never again because you have found the Comforter, and He abides with you forever.